Still Holding On Hope

“I need to write, because its my friend when im alone, it accompanies me through my sorrow and downfall. You know, i never really try to ask someone out. Cuz i dont know why, but i dont know how. Afraid? maybe… but the fact is i dont know how… well i finally did something that not right, who am i kidding with? myself… i confessed for someone, about love. But as i said, i dont know how it works… and yet who am i kidding with? with me in mess… who would rather accept through her life… esfieana? i dont know… but… its ok. I am cutting my hair today, i dont care how it looks like, just wanna cut my hair short. Maybe im too virgin for this love thing. A love poet that is, but do i know about the things i wrote… hmm… hey you, i know you wouldnt care to read this. But thank you for being nice to me, i forgot who i am, i forgot im in a mess and instead of trying im denying…. i am sorry if i offended you somehow. I know you didnt read english well… but i just said it out, so god knows how i feel… and at least i tell the world that i do have this feeling without u knowing or maybe understand. For now, its time to heal… its time to review what i did wrong… to reflect myself in the mirror, and ask who do you think you are… hey “lxh”… thank you for giving me the chance to feel the it through my journey back to singapore. It’s a wonderful feeling, although i felt it alone… im still… contented. Maybe i deserve this fact that im not who i used to be. Stupid of e to fall for you. so stupid of me… but what i wanna say, i am sorry to barge in your life, without even notice who i am…i beg your pardon for my silly mistake, maybe i need now try to forget you, so i may continue my life and my dreams, could i…? umm… its ok… may your dreams come true.”

With Love,

Ju`an